Kaavalan

Time and again movie buffs turn up at “Illaiya Thalapathi” Vijay’s movies hoping against hope for a decent masala movie. WE are not expecting an “Inception” or even an “How to train your dragon”. However, our dude never fails to disappoint us these days.

I am a movie lover. To people like me, it does not matter if movies have a higher purpose or a message or just provide 3 hours of unadulterated opportunity to live in a fantasy world. We are at the movies because we enjoy them.

My love for Vijay starrers has braved against atrocities like “Sachin”, “Sura”, “Udaya”, “Badri”,” Youth”, “Shajahan”.. I think I can come up with more but then I was also appeased by some decent masalas like “Gilli” and even “Vettaikaran” was a feel good movie if nothing else.

But Kaavalan is for loss of better words, an assault on the intelligence of average movie buffs. I mean seriously, what were they thinking? Alright! Let’s pool in Asin- she has been out of the tamil industry for some time now and her screechy voice and horrible sense of dressing and over made, over expressive face may just work out.. MAY. After all it worked in “pokkiri” and “sivakasi”. Then the producers thought.. oh let’s rope in Vadivelu.... Now that’s a combo that could NOT go wrong… People I will tell you what went HORRIBLY wrong with this thought process. Atleast the TOP 5 reasons!!!

1)      Let’s face it Vijay cannot ACT. He can maybe create the illusion and pull it off once in a while, few tricks here and there but ACTING was NEVER our dude’s cup of tea. He emotes the protagonist of the original movie. Classic examples.. Pokkiri,Gilli… God knows how he managed to make this miserable a caricature of Dileep!!!

2)      Music is very passable in Kavalan! The ONLY saving grace of Vijay starrers had always been the catchy tunes which you hummed along until the next fast beat came around... I cannot even begin to describe the senseless, totally expendable music tracks in this movie.

3)      Vadivelu… !!!????!!! WHAT CAN I SAY?? We have seen this roaring comedian provide some hearty comic relief . Probably he saved his better tracks for a better movie maybe? That is the only reasonable explanation I can come up with.

4)      ASIN! – Stale, sickening overacting Asin is just her usual, obnoxious self. No surprises there. But the dressing sense had gone progressively downhill. Did the stint in Bollywood NOT teach her anything at all?

5)      Icing on the cake? The climax!!! Puh-leeeeeez!!!!!!!! People mistake me not, I laughed throughout the movie. Oh no.. not when the supposed comedy track was in progress but when Vijay delivered heart wrenching dialogues with not even a trace of emotion.. when Asin was taken aback when Vijay’s kid Siddharth asked her to be his mommy. Trust me, she was so taken aback that she went two feet backwards!!!! Oh lord!!!

High time Vijay dusted his boots and made a serious attempt in choosing scripts that have decent shots of success.